Last week, as ya'll know, I took the whole week off from my computer. I even gave my computer to my brother and asked him to hide it in a safe place so I wouldn't be tempted. Let me say that it was one of the most peaceful weeks of my life. I did actually go through a little withdrawal the first day (which I think was ridiculous), but to be honest, by Sunday, I almost wished I could continue on without my computer. Life was just so much simpler without it. But the reality is that I had pictures to edit, and other things to do for people. I'm still struggling with a few decisions in my life, and praying about what to do about them.
A little while back, I downloaded a free ebook called Unfriend Yourself. I didn't read it until my computer free week which I'm glad, considering I had a lot to consider and think about during and after reading it.
This book is about all social media, but particularly facebook. I would encourage anyone with a facebook account to read it, and truly contemplate the information it gives. It's written by a Christian young man who did a lot of research not only on what the Bible says about communication but also on scientific research of how people communicate. It took him a year to research and write this simple yet profound 78 page book. He doesn't discourage being involved in social media, just opens your eyes to how we use it, and encourages and gives ideas on how to use social media correctly.
I bookmarked and highlighted several statements in his book that I'd like to share with my readers. I also did my own Bible study on social media, which I'm going to share quotes from also.
"Media have a peculiar power to shape and change us as we use them and they use us. Media have great effect on us because they are 'intellectual technologies.' It is our intellectual technologies that have the greatest and most lasting power over what and how we think."
"Intellectual technologies are our most intimate tools, the ones we use for self-expression and for shaping personal and public identity, and for cultivating relations with others. When intellectual technologies come into popular use, they often promote new ways of thinking or extend to the general population established ways of thinking that had been limited to a small group."
I've definitely seen this as true first hand. The differences in the way a person who uses social media thinks as opposed to someone who doesn't use social media. Often, I've observed, that people who use social media make more allowance for sin to enter their lives from the people they keep in contact with. Things that they would normally not find acceptable are "ok" because it's something an old buddy from the past is involved in. It's allowing sin through the eye gate. Christians have become lax in their standards, convictions and beliefs thanks to seeing it every day on the internet. As Hitler was quoted saying, "Tell a lie loud enough and long enough, and the people will believe it."
Psalm 101:2 I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.
Psalm 101:3 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.
Psalm 101:4 A froward heart shall depart from me: I will not know a wicked person.
Psalm 101:5 Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer.
1 Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.
Secondly, Mr. Tennant shows how social media has changed how we as people communicate.
"Too often we applaud technologies that enable us to exchange information (communication) without attending to those means of sharing that build intimacy and deepen our communion with God and each other. Communication is easy. A simple text is communication, but it is not communion. A wall post is communication, but it is not communion.
Communion is constructed from two simple, yet profound elements: orality and presence. Orality is'our speaking and listening in person with each other'. Presence is physical, in-the-flesh togetherness. Notice though, that both of these elements dwindle in the world of social media. You may have one (typically orality) but never both. Suddenly, these building blocks are removed, and instead of communing, we are only communicating."
"Remember, that while orality may continue when we go online, our presence disappears. We leave our bodies behind, and step into a place that is not a place, a world that is not a world. Social media tells us that we can be anywhere, even miles apart from our loved ones, and still be intimate with them. We can still meet them online which we consider a 'there' and 'place' and find community. But the problem is that 'there' is nowhere at all."
"If you're spending three, four or five hours a day online, there's got to be somewhere you are not. And that someplace you're not is often with your family and friends-sitting around, playing Scrabble face-to-face, taking a walk, or watching a movie together."
"The most meaningful things in our lives happen when we are embodied-it is when we live in our flesh and bones that we make memories, build friendships, and live together. Ultimately, our bodies are necessary for us to experience the truest form of life affected by social media: community."
I realized last week during my media break that I don't call my friends anymore. I always used the excuse that I'm too busy, but then how do I have the time to keep up with social media? That answer would be that I make the time, by neglecting the relationships with my family and friends. I've compromised my relationships by trading in true gems of communion with the cheap knock offs of social media. My communion has dwindled to simple communication. I realized, that if I was honest with myself, that I truly didn't know my friends anymore. And they didn't know me anymore. And that's my fault.
I was so excited when they came out with facebook and texting because all my friends live pretty far away and I don't have a car to drive and go see them. I thought that I'd finally feel connected with them, and we could enjoy the little moments in each other lives. But now I realize that I was only allowing a counterfeit into my life.
2 John 1:12 Having many things to write unto you, I would not write with paper and ink: but I trust to come unto you, and speak face to face, that our joy may be full.
As Mr. Tennant pointed out in his book, writing a letter was the social media of John's time. And yet, even though he did send the people letters, he saved some things to tell them face to face. And he ends the verse with, "that our joy may be full." What exactly does that mean?
Well, the author gave an assignment. Text a friend about something that happened in your life. Then, tell another friend face to face the same story. Which telling of the story was more enjoyable? I think we all know the answer to that question. Some people I wait to tell something because I love to see the expressions on their face. It brings me joy.
Thirdly, social media but especially facebook, promotes an-all-about-me attitude.
"The internet is less a forum for shared public life than an arena for individuals to express their egos and find information in tune with their personal needs and desires. When the network is based on the self, it becomes increasingly difficult to "love one another with a pure heart" (1 Peter 1:22).
1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
1 Corinthians 13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
"The hallmark value of Christian community is love. Clearly we have a problem when we seek community on a medium that is more about us than it is about others."
On social media, we can create the ideal version of ourselves. We try to make ourselves seem more witty, appealing, and interesting than we really are. We put our absolute best pictures for a profile picture, and try to make our everyday life sound interesting so that we'll be complemented by others to puff up our pride a little more. We're able to leave out our faults and eccentricities to create a perfect human (which of course, can not exist.) Now, I'm not saying go air out your dirty laundry on facebook, I'm just pointing out the truth. Then, when we see a friend's profile and they seem cooler than us, we get down in the dumps because we become unsatisfied with ourselves. But the truth is, that your friend has faults too, but like you, they're not going to put them online for the world to see. Social media creates two major sins in our lives: Pride and covetousness.
"Looking someone in the eye is difficult-and is becoming more difficult, I think, as we learn to relate digitally. Being honest is hard, being authentic is sometimes terrifying, and relating in the flesh is risky. Yet, when we take a risk and and engage in communion, we find life's simplest and profoundest pleasure: joy."
These are just a few of the eye opening bits of information I found in this book. There were many more, but I'd rather if you just read the book for yourself. These were the things that called out to me personally. I'm struggling with the decision of whether to get rid of my facebook account because of my photography business. Most people contact me about photo jobs through facebook, so I'm afraid to miss out on an opportunity because of getting rid of facebook. Of course, that is only an excuse, and I know that if I obey what God wants for my life, that He'll make it happen, and people will contact me through other ways. Please understand, I don't intend for this post to belittle anyone neither am I telling you to get rid of your facebook account. That is totally up to you, and may be something that you need to seek the Lord about and do some soul searching. Ask God to show you your heart and true motives, and determine whether they are godly and honourable. But the ultimate final decision is yours to make.
I hope that this article is a help to those who read it, as much as it was for me.
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