Be still my soul.

I am a writer by heart.

I make lists all the time, I like to write out my feelings, and I love to watch words forming on a page (or my computer screen.)

But lately.....it's been different.

I haven't been able to post. Not for lack of time, I just....can't write. 

Someone asked me what my resolutions for the new year were.

I still have no idea. 

And when I try to think about it, my head hurts.

I don't know if it's because I'm just being lazy, or I'm tired.....or what. 

My birthday is on Wednesday. I'm turning 20. I still can't believe that I'm actually LEAVING my teen years. I've imagined adulthood for so long, but it's nothing like I thought it would be. Not bad, just different. 

There's a lot more patience involved. A lot more keeping my mouth shut. A lot more submission. 

I've been blessed with an amazing family, and amazing friends. My best friend Megan treated me to a mall day this week. We had a blast. 

So much has changed.

My family's getting closer. My best friend and her family are going to the church we just finished helping to help with the trials the church is going through.

I have new friends from other states moving here and now coming to our home church. It seems like just as we're walking in, others are walking out. And we're about to walk out, and others are walking in. We probably won't be back at our home church from this Wednesday until July. 

We'll be helping two churches within the next 6 months. So much happened in 2011 that I couldn't have dreamed half of it. What does 2012 have hold? 

In a way, I'm anxious. In a way, I'm indifferent. And in a way, I'm scared. I'm usually a very positive person, but sometimes, my huge imagination goes wild, and horrible scenarios run through my head. The worse ones are right before I go to bed. I have to get up, open my Bible, read the verses I've found, and beg God to take these horrible thoughts away. 

I know this was an unusual New Year's Day post. I hope to post soon on tons of pics from Christmas, and past happenings. 

Please just pray for me and my mind and thoughts are once again changing.